Just One More Thing: Sex and the Married Detective

Notes and screenshots for Sex and the Married Detective: Originally broadcast on April 3, 1989, starring a tuba, Lindsay Crouse as a shape-shifting sex therapist, Londo from Babylon 5 and, of course, Peter Falk as Columbo.

"When a successful sex therapist with a best selling book and a hit TV show accidentally witnesses her business partner and lover cheating on her with an employee, she murders him. Lt. Columbo is on the case."

-IMDB Summary

"Have you ever thought about what kind of dessert you are? No? Perhaps that’s for the best, because the answer to that question drives sex therapist Lindsay Crouse (rice pudding) to murder her business partner/lover and develop a bit of a split personality in “Sex and the Married Detective.” It’s the third episode of Columbo‘s 80s-90s run and, well, it isn’t the best example of the series. Goodness, that tuba scene. Thankfully, guest “Hollywood” Steve Huey (Yacht Rock, VH1) was more than game to watch Lt. Columbo visit a sex room multiple times."

-RJ's episode summary

Listen to the original podcast episode here:

Episode 24: These People, They Go To Bed Here? with our guest “Hollywood” Steve Huey.

Sex and the Married Detective

Season 8, Episode #3

Director: James Frawley

Writer: Jerry Ludwig

Therapists once again get their asses handed to them on a television program. It’s difficult to tell sometimes which crowd television writers seem to have the most disdain for: Therapists, critics or modern artists. 

The approach in scripting any of the three types of characters always comes down to the same idea - that the profession in question is a scam run by narcissists and neurotics. Not like television writers, surely ...

That being said, the dancing waters and tuba scene in this episode deserves a book all its own. Columbo has some legendary time-fillers and slapstick asides, but the tuba sequence - populated with a parade of marching children, of all things - feels more like a dream sequence or a short film from Teletubbies. “I’m a detective, I like to play the tuba. The tuba is a fun instrument. The tuba makes people want to march.” 

The faux noir elements of the episode are practically as absurd as the tuba parade, to be honest. I half-suspect that the tuba sequence is in there just to distract from the utterly beedly-bogus smoky saxophone and tough guy bartender bits.  

My one regret about our review of this episode is that I realized, too late, that there were a number of opportunities to describe the nascent split personality of “Lisa” as a Night Goliath. I’ll never get this off the ground if I don’t start paying more attention. 

Next episode: Grand Deceptions