Just One More Thing: Lovely But Lethal

Notes and screenshots for Lovely But Lethal: Originally broadcast on Sep 23, 1973, starring Vera Miles as beauty industry titan Viveca Scott, Martin Sheen as a crooked little chemist with an axe to grind, Sian Barbara Allen as a lesbian-coded chain-smoker, Vincent Price living his best life as a catty cosmetics tycoon, plus character actors John Finnegan, Fred Draper, Bruce Kirby, and, of course, Peter Falk as Columbo.

"The formula for a miraculous wrinkle cream leads the founder of a cosmetics company to murder; Columbo is soon on the case."

-IMDB Summary

"In “Lovely But Lethal,” Vera Miles is Viveca Scott, a cosmetics magnate who needs a miracle product to keep her company from going under. When researcher Martin Sheen is discovered taking the formula to the competition, she murders him with the most deadly weapon known to mankind – a microscope. Throw in an alkie chemist, some Vincent Price, a little Bruce Kirby and oh, hey, another killing (this time, by poisoned cigarette) and no amount of foundation can cover up the blemishes of subterfuge and murder. Maybe Columbo’s some sort of cold cream of justice? Sure, let’s go with that. Elle Collins (Into It) helps Jon and RJ sort the whole thing out."

-RJ's episode summary

Listen to the original podcast episode here:

Episode 22: I’m Your Hairy Little Teddy Bear with our guest Elle Collins. 

Lovely But Lethal

Season 3, Episode #1

Director: Jeannot Szwarc

Writers: Jackson Gillis, Myrna Bercovici

I’m always interested in semiotics and character coding in film and television, so I was delighted to be informed of all the ways in which Sian Barbara Allen’s “Shirley Blaine” was quietly coded as queer - against all taboos of the time - in the episode. Some of the elements were fairly obvious - Allen plays her wide-eyed obsession with Miles’ “Vivica Scott” all but carnivorously. If I had to compare her portrayal with anything, it would be with the spoiled children of Willie Wonka upon observing the interior of the factory for the first time, all licked lips and goggling eyes.

Others were less obvious - one of our commentors pointed out her pinky ring, for instance, which I’ll now be on the lookout for in other media of the time. Price’s character shielding Shirley Blaine from Vivica Scott’s scathing innuendo by telling her “Don’t waste your ammunition.” The quantity of her smoking was also an indicator (despite the fact that Allen appeared to have never held a cigarette before in her life) - a woman smoking has, for better or worse, been an indicator of female independence since the marketing was first put into place, but a woman chain-smoking is a woman with a secret! (I’ll have to break that news to my grandmother, who was a carton-a-day smoker. Or I would break that to her if she hadn’t died ... of lung cancer, natch) 

Meanwhile, as if to honor the appearance of Vincent Price, the episode begins with a classic horror movie-style intro. The close-up camera angles, the harsh and changing lighting, the hovering scalpel and looming subsidiary figures behind the sweating, troubled doctor - these could have been the opening titles to one of Price’s own films. 

We didn’t address this in the podcast, but kudos to Martin Sheen for playing one of the most asking-for-it murder victims in the history of the show. After stealing Scott’s property, he ransoms it back to her with demands for a partnership in the company, a shitload of cash and, ah, how to say this - unlimited access to the boss’ full attention. And then he still demands more. No wonder they had to have Vivica Scott perform a second murder halfway through the episode, the first one almost seemed reasonable.

Below: Some stills from the horror movie-style intro to Lovely But Lethal

Next episode: Any Old Port in a Storm